Monday, July 30, 2018
When an Astrology Reading Goes Awry #paranormal
He passed around the computer to others in the group who all moaned and "oo'd and ah'd" about how bad it was and how I needed to be careful. No other explanation. Just a lot of sympathetic looks and words of caution to be "careful" and "cautious with people." One woman told me to "get myself together and figure out my job". I was blown away because none of this was helpful to me. I only mentioned the roof incident because I was curious how that lined up with the eclipse--now suddenly I'm getting words of warning and told how miserable my chart is.
If it's so bad, then what's the use in trying? If the planets are aligned to keep me down and miserable, then what is the F'n point?
In the past few months, I've had two new releases--Decadent Deception and Spark--yet they're telling me to figure out my job? I was so confused.
Here's the thing--I am no stranger to psychics or empath classes. I normally enjoy my astrology group because I'm so curious and eager to learn. I know that instilling fear in someone is NOT the way to go--especially all the dire warnings of "be careful" with no explanation. Be careful of what exactly? Answering my door? Driving? A rabid cat? An ex showing up? WHAT? Am I supposed to lock myself in my house and never go out again? Is all the work I've done over the past two years when I lost everything and rebuilt it in a new city for nothing? Is my life just going to get worse? I mean, what the hell?
Now, I know a lot of people will say "don't take it seriously" or "blow it off"--but he nailed the trauma to my house and the speeding ticket (which they knew nothing of) when he looked at my chart. And I have been studying the paranormal for years. I'm good friends with psychics and witches and empaths--none of them would issue such dire forecasts to anyone, by the way.
No, this experience was traumatic. To have my chart passed around in the group with a half dozen astrologers ooing and ahing and muttering how bad it was--without being specific--is NOT a good feeling. I started shaking. My head started hurting. My heart raced. I started sweating.
I mean, all I wanted to know was how eclipses could influence my decisions on my chart, which was the group topic for the day. I had no expectation of leaving there a nervous wreck worried about dying on the way home with all their pitying looks and hand grabs and words of "be careful".
This isn't how it's supposed to work. I know this, yet am very frustrated by it. The woman who told me I was a mess and needed to figure out my job and my life--her words gnawed at me to the point where I had to start journaling. I admit to being a mess in the past, but right now I am the calmest I have been in years. And, like I said, I just released two new books! Yet, her words also fed into my self-doubt because I'm someone who has been through hell--absolute, utter, traumatic fucking hell--these past two years. Maybe I'm not doing enough? Maybe no matter what I do I'm fucked? If that's the case, then why try?
Yes, I will shake off the nerves in a day or two--but I know that those words "be careful" are going to stick with me for awhile. Be careful of WHAT? And I will have that gnawing doubt that the planets are lined up against me--how does a person escape that?
Frazzled and confused,