Monday, June 30, 2014

Scream it out, baby! Getting vocal in the bedroom #sex #relationships

As an erotic romance novelist, random people often mistake me for a sex expert or relationship advice columnist. I’ve never thought of myself in that light even though I can write a sex scene that will have you squirming with need and am a proponent of happily ever after. But the more I think about it, the more I realize know what? Maybe I am an expert. The books on my desk and my internet search history would imply I'm a sex scholar! 

What is it with people's hangups regarding sex? I don't understand. Grown women get all giggly when talking to me about the basic of things, explaining that they've been taught that there's a fine line between whore and lady. Well, don't you remember that saying about being a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom? I can't recall it exactly, but there is nothing wrong at all with losing your inhibitions with your lover.

Sex is a primal act, yet some people restrain themselves from letting loose because of inhibitions or false beliefs that getting vocal might mean they’re less than respectable. But let’s think about this carefully, if you’ve gotten naked and are comfortable enough with someone to be getting intimate, then what’s the problem with voicing your desire? 

Tell your lover what feels good--feedback is better than being left clueless and gives him/her permission to do the same with you. Wouldn’t you rather enjoy making love and know that you’re giving pleasure in return?  Say “I love it when you do___” or “it feels so good when you___”.  Everyone loves positive reinforcement! 

Still feeling shy? Fake confidence at first---channel a character from a romance novel and go for it. Faking confidence is better than faking...something else. *wink*

Words not your thing when you’re caught up in passion? Go for the moans, the mmm’s, the ahh’s. Like I said, sex itself is a primal act. Sound stimulates the animal instinct that burns inside of us. Let it out! Not only will making the most basic of sounds stimulate your lover, you’ll trick yourself into being more aroused. 

Speaking of arousal, a fun game to play while you’re in the foreplay stage and when the clothes are still on is to say things like “I bet you didn’t know I like it when ___” with you each taking turns completing the sentence. This game takes more guts--confidence--so maybe you need to work up to it, but it’s a real turn on to talk as the clothes are coming off. Suggestions go a long way to making the experience more enjoyable and deepening the intimacy between you. 

What about pillow talk, you ask? Here I advise you to be careful. Orgasm releases oxytocin so you may be more inclined to share your most intimate details that you may regret in the morning--or maybe not. Just know that pillow talk is NOT the same as sex talk. But, hey, if you made it to the oxytocin stage, then good for you! Enjoy it all.  

Keep being sexy!
Dakota Skye 

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Friday, June 27, 2014

Writing Electric Chemistry--Snap, Crackle, Sizzle #Romance #RomanceNovels #Sexy

a guest post by Amber Lea Easton

Writing romance is more than basic nuts and bolts of storytelling. The author must dive deep into an emotional well and create chemistry that zaps off the page. It's the romance author's mission not only to tell a good story, but also to make their readers crave the passion between the characters. I know I've done my job when readers tell me that they were squirming in their seats with anticipation. But how did that happen?

Nonverbal actions are the key. Showing physical reactions to desire subconsciously trigger the same reaction in the reader. It's not enough to say, "He turned her on." It's much better to say, "Need ran through her veins like hot lava moving down the side of a volcano, hot and unstoppable." Goosebumps, quivering thighs, dry mouths, breath lodged in one's throat, heartbeats pounding, butterflies stirring in the gut, sudden wetness, taut nipples, clumsiness, biting one's lip to stop the desire for a kiss…you get the idea. Nonverbal descriptions stimulate a response in the reader because we can all relate to these sensations.

Add internal emotional conflict on top of the nonverbals and you create angst. Why shouldn't they kiss? What's stopping them? Insecurities? Other commitments? Threats? All of the above? When internal conflict is paired with nonverbal cues, we the reader see the vulnerability of the character warring with desire. We crave satisfaction as much as the characters do.

That's chemistry--both on the page and inside the reader. The author must show that the characters both want yet resist. There must be a realistic attraction and a good motivation for remaining apart. Chemistry cannot be underestimated, either in the world of fiction or in real life. That snap, crackle, sizzle is what makes romance so much fun to read and to write.

Here's an example from my latest contemporary romance drama, Dancing Barefoot:

“Are you serious? What do you want? An affair?” He was a gambling man. Before she could answer, he pulled her beneath the shade of a nearby tree, pressed her back against the bark, and leaned his forearm above her head. “Maybe I should have stayed the other night, made love with you again and again until we had each other out of our systems."
She licked her bottom lip. “What makes you think we would have gotten each other out of our systems?”
All common sense told him to walk away now before he made a mistake. This was Jessica Moriarty, the woman he had tried to forget, failed to forget. She stood a fraction away, blue eyes full of dares, and body warm against his. 
“I know what you’re thinking,” she said, arms firmly at her sides. “History repeating itself, right?”
“Something like that.” 

“Let's go on a date. Right now, you and me. No history, just two people on a first date. You can charm me. I dare you.” 
"A date?" He leaned against her, wanting to be inside her. "We're with other people, we can't date."
"I am with no one. You have the wrong idea." She slid her fingertips beneath the hem of his t-shirt and skimmed his lower abdomen.
"Is that how you ask for a date? You dare a man to charm you? Is that usually effective?"
"It is with you." She stood on her tiptoes and dipped her fingers into the front of his jeans. "You have never turned down a dare."
"I've changed. Dares do not phase me at all." He pressed his hips into hers, willing to see how far she would go in broad daylight only blocks from her office. "I am committed to Simone."
"Like hell you are." The tip of her tongue flicked over his mouth.
"I." He kissed her lightly. "Will." He slid his mouth from her lips to the line of her jaw. "Never." His tongue flicked over her earlobe. "Date you."
She'd kicked off the high heel and now her barefoot slid up the side of his lower leg. "Yes, you will."
He laughed at her audacity, relieved to see that fire in her eyes. "It is good to know you have big dreams, Jess."
"Ava said you'd make Boston your home base if only I asked." She moved her hand over the bulge in his jeans and grinned with satisfaction. "I know there's a lot of heartache here, that you don't trust me, but the way I see it, you're worth me making a fool of myself over."
He couldn't believe her, even though he wanted to very much. He'd given back the ring, said all he had to say, had vowed to erase her from his heart. The gallery idea with Miranda had slipped from his lips without conscious intent. Looking at her now, he knew it would be too risky to let her close.
"And then what? I leave for South America, you have a fit about me wandering off, we break up again? Is that how this will play out?"
"Technically, we never broke up," she whispered, gaze intent on his. "We never had a fight, I still wore the ring, so did you."
"You're confusing me and I don't like it." His dropped his forehead against hers and tried desperately to reign in his desire.
"If you don't want a date, then let's go back to my place, lock the door and see what happens."
"You know what would happen." He grabbed her wrists and made her stop touching him. "What are you really asking me, Jess?"
"I want..." 
"What do you want?"
“You're ashamed of me, of what we were to one another. Didn’t you say that last week? Yes, you said you don’t talk about Italy to anyone here.” He knew it was the truth when her eyes darted away from him. “You don’t want anyone here to know about our affair. You don’t want your lover to get upset—”
“You have the wrong idea about Marc. He—”
“Stop lying. Is it even possible for you to stop?” He pressed his thigh between hers, pushing her tighter against the bark of the tree. “You two are lovers. Deny it.”

She dropped her head against tree trunk and stared at him. “It’s complicated.”
“Of course it is. Nothing with you is simple. Come back to my hotel with me. Right now. Intervene.”
"You think I won't, but I will." Her lips trembled, eyes searched his. 
His gaze locked on her mouth. “Is that your plan? Seduce me away from Simone? How would Marc feel about that?”
“Stop throwing him in my face.”
“You want me back in your bed, Jess? Is that all you want? Sex and nothing more?”
Blue eyes darkened to indigo. Body shifted toward him. Teeth bit into her bottom lip. He knew she wanted him, but he needed more than that.
“Do you want me to beg?” Her hands settled on his hips. 
“Yes, I do. Beg me.”
The war in her eyes was evident.
“Jacques, please—”
“No more.” He closed his eyes. “We aren't capable of a casual affair and you know it. We'll get sucked in and then what?”
“It could be different this time. We'll make it work.” 
"Why the change of mind? Ava? Last Friday night? What? Why? If you hadn't seen me last week, I wouldn't be on your mind at all. If I hadn't come to Boston for the exhibit, we would not be standing here. If I am the great love of your life, then you would have tried to contact me and explain. According to Kevin, I have a huge social media following. Not too hard to catch up to me. I don't trust you. I don't trust this, not at all. Are you using me again? Is this promotion scaring you and I happened along at the right time?"
"I never used you, never. I thought about contacting you so many times, but what would I say? Then what? I waited too long, was too messed up—maybe still am, I don't know—I didn't know how to say what I felt. Think of all the places you've been in the past five years, all you would have given up for me."
When she stopped speaking, he started thinking. Without opening his eyes, he moved his hands over her arms, felt the softness of her dress beneath his fingertips, heard her sharp intake of breath, felt her lips caress his chin.  
He shook his head, reality waking him up like a cold shower. “We no longer fit.”
Her hands fisted in his shirt when he tried to step away. “What does that mean?”
“It means I think you and Marc will have a nice life together.”
“Marc and I are not a couple. He does his thing and I do mine, that's it.” Her hold on him intensified.
He looked at her—really looked—and saw a woman who was as far removed from his lifestyle as he was from a corporate boardroom. 
“I haven’t been fair to you. I came back here hoping to see you, that’s true. All of it was designed to open that door for me.” Confusion twisted his thoughts into meaningless meanderings going nowhere. “We were what we were and had what we had. I gave you back the ring, meant what I said. We've had our closure, bellazza mia. The end.”
“The end?” Fire returned to her eyes. 
“I look forward to seeing you at the gallery on Saturday. I hope you'll change your mind about showing your art.” A hole opened up where his heart once existed. “You should be there with me, like Ava says. You were there in the beginning—”
“The beginning.” Her eyes flickered with pain. “There are other reasons that I keep Italy to myself, Jacques.”
“What other reasons?” 
"You're mine, my memory, mine alone. I don't share you, us, with anyone who wasn't there because no one would understand the magnitude of it. I don't tell anyone because it's sacred to me, you, Ava, our life together that summer...sacred to me." She shook her head, disbelief and sadness transforming her eyes into the color of the deep ocean. “Even when I boarded the plane home, I thought somehow, someway we'd be together. I didn't want it to end, but I needed to come home. I returned too late, I know I screwed up, but I never intended to end us, can't you see that? Now we have a chance to begin again. Brand new. Jessica and Jacques the sequel. Think about how amazing it could be.”
She made him doubt himself. The look in her eyes, the way her hands fisted in the material of his shirt at his waist, the longing that emanated from her. It was as if he had been caught beneath a wave and didn’t know which way was up. 
Without answering, he disengaged from her and strode across the park.  He had to give up the idea of her, surrender the notion that they'd once had a great love affair. Memory had a way of glossing over reality. He broke his stride and looked over his shoulder. She leaned against the trunk of the tree, a vision in yellow surrounded by green.
And he wondered why walking away felt so damn wrong. 

Can you feel the heat, the internal conflict, the desire, and the resistance? Nonverbal action fueled by emotion can do a lot to stimulate the senses. As the cliche states, actions say more than words alone. 

A little bit more about Dancing Barefoot...

Jessica Moriarty appears to have it all—a successful career as an architect, a loyal group of friends, a gorgeous apartment, and an on-again-off-again affair with Boston's most eligible bachelor. Behind this “perfect life” façade, Jessica hides the loss she feels over giving up her dream career as an artist, copes with a destructive relationship with her alcoholic mother, and struggles with heartbreak over a lost love.

Jacques Sinclair only needs his cameras, a backpack, and a good pair of walking shoes. A world-renowned photographer, he is a man without boundaries. Despite fame and fortune, he still yearns for the woman who shattered his heart when she vanished from his life five years ago.

A chance meeting brings Jacques and Jessica back together. Reunions aren't always planned or welcomed, but chemistry has a way of revealing what is denied. Ensnared in a web of sabotage and conspiracy—carefully constructed by people who want to control their lives—Jacques and Jessica struggle to trust each other, break free from the status quo, reclaim their love, and build a life of extraordinary possibility.
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Prequel of Dancing Barefoot, IN BETWEEN, a permanent free read (full length romance novel) on Amber Lea Easton's blog:

What early reviews are saying about Dancing Barefoot:

4 stars via Avid Reader
"I loved this story.

It was refreshingly honest, brutally tragic, and at times lyrical in it's flow. Their connection was so intense that as I read it, I was like this absolutely cannot survive. Love this intense and in your face has a slow burn to it, and will torch everything in i's path until it is stamped out...There was nothing contrived about it. I felt like I was literally a fly on the wall and this was happening in reality and not fiction land. I liked them both, probably one of the best couples I have ever read." entire review

5 stars via ChristophFischerBooks
"Conflicting emotions and insurmountable chemistry cause both of them to reassess the past, their current lives and priorities. Easton shows the magnetic and hypnotic effect of physical and emotional attraction very well and the gradual crumbling of outer facades and deep inner resolve. This is a romantic fantasy written in a convincing and heart warming manner and with enough complications thrown in to make for a very entertaining and gripping read." entire review

5 stars via Sglas, Amazon reader review:
"Excitement, intrigue, twists and turns! Dancing Barefoot has it all. Very hard to put down." read entire review

Buy it now and feel the chemistry yourself--available in both eBook and Paperback:  
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